Monday, August 27, 2007

Black Hole of Communication

Have you ever wondered , that why people remember some event , occasion, or for that matter fight , arguments etc more than the simple words someone has communicated. It's simply because People remember experiences & feelings more accurately than they recall words.

Long after people forget what you said , they remember how you made them feel.

As you know we have two minds - one is our conscious mind (left brain) & other is sub/un-conscious mind (right brain) . Both react differently when we communicate.

The conscious mind wants structure and order whereas the unconscious mind remembers the feelings & subjective experiences. Therefore, if you want your message to be understood talk to the conscious mind but if you want it to be remembered communicate to un-conscious mind.

Thus, its essential to communicate and leave people with positive experiences , because when everything else fades , they still remember how you made them feel.

Ask people how they felt at the end of the conversation . You may simply ask , " hoe do you feel about our discussion"? have I left you feeling positive or have I missed something?". This gives people an opportunity to reflect on how they are feeling.

The mission here is to communicate to the two minds, so that you get your point across by communicating to conscious mind & have people experience positive feeling by tapping the connection with un conscious minds.

Most of the times you would have end up assigning tasks to your team/sub ordinates saying it as urgent, high priority. Something like this statement - " This is important but don't forget this..." or " This needs to be done by Friday along with everything else"..OK so what's wrong here..I have so many important tasks that are urgent.

But the point here is, you fail to meet your objectives because "When everything is urgent , Nothing is urgent ".
Our mind treats all information as equal unless important points are highlighted or marked out. But when leaders/managers fall into trap of "wanting everything yesterday" , you are sending the message that every things is a priority . and people are then left confused , uncertain as to which direction to take.

Therefore, always communicate your priorities and provide "By when" date for delivery. Because if you don't communicate your priorities , others will establish them but this still requires a mutual understand of what is urgent and what is really urgent.

Know Precisely what you want and state it clearly...

Anyone heard you.
Anyone heard you correctly.
Anyone cares.

Anyone is moving.
Anyone is moving fast.
Anyone is moving in the right direction.

How you communicates makes all the go ahead and make that difference !!